sandy

the empire state building still alight as it went dark downtown

complete darkness

so. we had a hurricane. it was bad. for many, many people, it's still very bad. i feel exceedingly thankful that, though we had no power for the past week, it's back on and i am warm and safe at home.

i have never seen so much damage first hand and my heart goes out to those who have lost their homes, their animals, and their loved ones. almost everyone knows someone who has lost a great deal during this storm.

i have also never been so overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support from my family and friends. all three of my sisters (who rarely contact me), texted me to make sure i was ok. friends from all over the country and the world called/texted to check in. high school friends i haven't seen in years asked what they could do/send to help... friends from brooklyn and uptown (amazing how life went on as usual in some parts of the city, while we were completely without power, and flooded around the edges...) offered their apartments... offered to bike in with food... it was amazing.
so thank you to everyone... very, very, really, really, super, very thank you. and the biggest thank you to jamie for sharing his apartment with me all week. and walking me around in the dark (because i was really, genuinely scared... it was pitch black and it felt like the beginning of every one of my reoccurring apocalyptic dreams).

we are doing a coat/food drive at fishs eddy to help those in need... and i am looking forward to volunteering through new york cares as the recovery effort continues. it'll be a long time before everyone is back on their feet... but... we are resilient 'round these parts, and we know how to get through it... 

girls night in.

we made our own movie concession snacks and watched wanderlust.

last stop, montauk.

favourite nyc spot.

minnow.

when i was little, most of my summers were spent almost entirely in the water. whether it was in the putney pool, my neighbor's pond, or lake spofford, i was a fish... i could swim and play in the water for hours.

yesterday i went swimming for the first time in ages... and it was amazing! at first i wasn't even going to go in the water... i'm a big sissy la-la about cold water... and it was cold. it took me ten minutes to get in just up to my calves... but i finally got there, and once i was in, it was like old times. i was the only one in the pool and i swam and splashed and played for as long as i could. the feeling of my body moving in water under the sunshine was totally awesome... i forgot how good and light and fun it feels...

this summer i am going to try to swim as much as possible... who's with me?

greenpoint.

official unofficial start to summer.

lán grá.

today is the most beautiful day we've had in a while and i can't remember the last time i was so happy... this week has brought a lot of good people and good energy my way... people-wise, notably (but not most notably), todd oldham stopped by the office for a meeting. i have been a fan since his first line for target... sophia and i were obsessed... that furry, pink camo blanket still graces my bed today... a few of the other pieces have held up as well. so yeah. he was one of the most gracious people i have ever met... even more so after my co-workers outed me for being such a big fan. so awesome, that todd oldham.

but yeah, it's been a good week... i am thankful and excited for all this awesomeness.

sunny weekend.

i tried the vegan mac n' cheese at brooklyn mac yesterday. no bueno. if you are vegan and want good mac n' cheese, stick with s'mac. if you are vegan and want mac n' cheese and a stomach ache, hit up brooklyn mac. the one good thing about b'mac... there's a new uncle louie g's around the corner. (yum, cantaloup).

saturday we spent the day wandering... from so many spots downtown you can see one world trade coming up gorgeous on the skyline.

and lounging in mccarren park has become one of my favourite ways to end the weekend.

the best way to clean your house is to flood it with love.

day date.

585.

last year on this day, i wrote this post for a friend of mine.

...not a day goes by that i don't think of you. love and miss you monroe.

manuella.

xoxo to one of my most favourite londoners for showing me a very good time.

during lunch i took a walk down to paper slam (13th between a and b), to pick up my business cards... they look amazing! this place is fantastic! high quality, well-priced, and fast. i had some very bad luck at a couple other places in the city, and paper slam was my savior. give them your business... you will not regret it!

swedish proverb.

älska mig när jag minst förtjänar det, för det är då jag verkligen behöver det.

or

love me when I least deserve it, because that’s when i need it the most.

хорошо.

so. as you may have guessed, i. loved. moscow.

generally when the plane touches tarmac back in nyc after a far away trip, i am so happy to be back. for the first time, when i got back from russia, i was sad. i didn't want to be home. which is funny, because in the weeks leading up to my adventure, i was almost just wanting to get it over with. with everything i read about the racism and overall coldness, i just wanted to experience it to say that i had.

but despite the fact that i was looked at like a circus freak show wherever i went, i didn't speak the language, and most of the food made me nauseous, i still loved it.

...this may have a lot to do with the people i met, with whom i am still in touch with via e-mail, russian facebook (yes, i joined russian facebook), regular facebook, and skype... they are amazing and i can't wait to see them again soon, either here, or back there (i would like to go to back, adding st. petersburg to the itinerary, the beginning of next year).

but people aside, i still really loved it. the architecture... the energy (which was unlike any i have encountered in any city, and difficult to describe)... the little russian cars...

i loved that i made a routine for myself while i was there... in the mornings i would get up and use the hotel gym, in which most of the time i was the only one... then i would go down and eat the best breakfast on this earth... the breakfast at the hotel was totally awesome. every morning i was stoked to get down with some fried mushrooms, fried zucchini, buckwheat, and whatever else my breakfast heart desired... grape tea...

and this may sound silly, but the mirrors at the hotel were the same as the mirrors in my apartment... so i always felt a little bit like i was at home as i was getting ready each day... which resulted in my feeling comfortable with my appearance in a way i don't usually when traveling.

i loved that i started to get a handle on the cyrillic alphabet and it's sounds, and that i learned a few key words and phrases. i would like to take a class, or get a tutor, or something, so that i can go back with some language under my belt. i think that would heighten the travel experience.

anyway. i just really loved it there. and i can't wait to go back.

i am so happy i dove in with this trip... i am so glad didn't give up on the visa... and i am so thankful i got the opportunity to go.

when i first arrived i wrote this post in which i said that my goals were to prove that the russian visa is worth the trouble, and to prove that russians can be nice, even to black girls like me...

mission accomplished.